I’ve received my thesis back this week with a few pencil comments and a nice “A” on the final page which is good because I’d already had a couple of dreams that my reader would find some dreadful mistake and it would be returned bleeding red ink! I knew I had put in the work and done my best but still having spent so much time on something and handing it over to be assessed is terrifying.
I’ve always been a good student, but even so I am still plagued by the dreams of making some academically fatal mistake. Silly as it sounds, I have this crazy recurring dream that some registrar finds some missing credit on my high school [yes, you read that right, HIGH SCHOOL!] transcript and I have to go back to DHS and take another course from Mrs. Kennedy or Ms. Whitlock. My 10 year high school reunion was last October! Not sure what that says about me… maybe I put a bit too much worth in my academic achievements. [smile]
Regardless of the potential insights these dreams might give about my self image, I have gotten quite good at shaking off the panic of waking from one of these dreams by reminding myself what my Grammy has told me since I was little that I always have the option to move in with her and “grow up in ignorance.” [smile] Her reassurance has always brought a smile to my face because while I might not learn that same things I have in school there is no way I would be growing up in ignorance! Oh what an education I would have received from her and my Granddaddy’s example of love, service, and ministry… not to mention how much I would have saved on student loans!
Well, I’ve made my choice and find myself finishing up another Master’s degree in less than a month that is if I can jump through one final hoop. Fortunately that final hoop isn’t a huge comprehensive exam… unfortunately there is very little I could do at this point to change the outcome and in that way the hoop feels a little like a ring of fire! Before Caleb or I or any of our seminary friends can graduate for that matter we have to receive the approval from “The Faculty.” I put “The Faculty” in quotes because like the nature of the discussions they will have about our readiness to graduate who exactly attends these meetings is shrouded in mystery. My guess is that the mystery is for the protection of those who make this decision… aka so they won’t be hounded by the graduates. I could easily promise I wouldn’t hound them, but I can’t promise a few of my always praised red velvet cupcakes might not appear on the doorsteps of the parties involved. [smile]
Honestly, I’m really not all that worried about getting their approval. I have done quite well in all my classes and I imagine that it is pretty rare that someone who has passed all their coursework would not be allowed to graduate. Still they must have these meetings for a reason and I am left perplexed! Ultimately, I think I’d rather not see behind the curtain and let the mystery remain because as long as I don’t know what’s actually going on at these meetings I can imagine they are super exciting. I mean maybe they all turn into aliens or something! [smile]