A fantastic thunder storm has rolled into our little part of Tennessee and the heavy rain has made the mountains disappear in a hazy fog of grey-green. Our lights keep flickering and I’m hoping against hope that we don’t loose power because tonight is Caleb’s choir practice. I love our house but do not want to be stuck here in the dark alone. The stormy weather reminds me of a passage I wrote in my diary when I was 12 that I ran across yesterday when I was going through some boxes. Pardon the misspellings and the improper use of punctuation I was only 12 after all. [smile]
Diary, I need to write some descriptions in you. So that I might learn to write well.
The day was as drery [dreary] as a young boy who has just lost his true love.
I have a sneaking suspicion that 12 year old “Mag” might have been just a bit pretentious and definitely a completely hopeless romantic. [smile] In the entries that follow I gush about my crush on a boy named Alexander, going to shop for school supplies, attending the funeral of someone in my dad’s church, and my first observations of middle school!
1st day was OK. I think my teachers will be pretty good… Things that have changed: No more holding hands or smucking [I have no idea what term “Mag” is trying to spell here!] at school, and All the boys talk “Deeper“. It is so wierd [weird]! I think it will be a good year, Mag
P.S. I think Alexander likes me.
The post script is written with a heart drawn around it and hearts before and after Alexander’s name. I must have been really into this guy. Actually I think it’s indicative of an interest in boys in general because before he diary peters out less than a month later I mention at least 4 other boys who I like! [smile]
I remember wanting to be in love for such a long time and becoming frustrated with ups and downs of waiting for “love” to happen. While I waited, I read about love in the pages of Anne of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice and The Rosary and thought I was becoming an expert on the subject. [smile] In the process of reading about such independent heroines, I found the courage to not just wait for love to come along, but also to live life and have my own adventures in the meantime. When I look back on my almost 30 years of life, I am so grateful for the whole of it. I am grateful for my wonderful childhood with loving parents and perfectly annoying younger siblings. I am grateful for the boy-crazy middle school, high school, and yes even college years. I am grateful for my years of adventuring in far off lands. I am grateful for the amazing man who surprised me the forever searching romantic and swept me off my feet. I am grateful for our current adventure and so grateful for the opportunity to take a moment to reflect.
The storm is passing and I think –fingers crossed– that I am out of danger of losing power. Best of all I can see my mountains again.